My Darling Isabella, Gone But Not Forgotten

Always by my side

My girl and I have been through alot over the years.  As I reflect on our time together I have concluded she has been more than a pet.  I think she became a service type companion.  She got me through some pretty tough times in my life.  For those that do not know Izzy and I, we spent most days together.

When I feel stressed and or a little ill, I like to get out and walk.  Sometimes throughout my city other times out in the forests and miles of hiking trails.  All the while Izzy was by my side.  All 80 pounds of her.  For extended hikes she even had her own backpack.  Except while on sidewalks rarely did she require being leashed.  I had trained her all the basic obedience commands. And she knew them well.  She really just wanted to be with me anyway.  She had no desire to stray.  Even on a forest trail she'd rarely wonder out of eyesight.  And if she did a short whistle of mine would send her scrambling back to me.  On the Conservative side I calculated we walked or hiked about a 100 miles a year together.

She was a regular helping out with trail work for our snowmobile club.  We spent many days out on the trails clearing, signing, fixing bridges.  Always keeping an eye on things but ready to retrieve a stick at any moment.  I don't think she ever really understood why we tossed the sticks off the trail.  Often she'd grab one we just tossed off the trail and we'd need to remind her to leave it.  "We are not playing now Izzy".  At any moment she would find an appropriate sized throwing stick and toss it at one of the guys to sucker him into throwing it a few times for her.

She learned to ride in the back of the ATV 

And shotgun in the Side By Side UTV.

One of the guys

Once a year a group of us guys I've know since forever get together for our guy camping trip.  Izzy was the only chick allowed. Many times we camped at a very primitive site.  It was always nice have a big dog on watch for us.  Always up for a walk, hike, or swim.  Ate what ever we were eating which was usually very good.

What turned out to be a day-long expedition looking for a
WWII area plane crash in the ADKs.

Izzy had her paws full trying to keep the Sams under control. 

Anyone who knows me and saw me out would expect to see Izzy sprawled out on the deck of my SUV.  I never even used the back seat.  They have always been folded down with a blanket covering the deck for my Izzy.  Her normal was head out the window as we cruised the roads of Central NY.  My Son said it best "She did more and went more places in a week than most dogs do their entire lives".   No matter where we ended up, running errands, visiting, or just looking for adventure Izzy was with me.  I could leave all the SUV's doors unlocked and would leave all the windows down.  I'd tell her I'll be right back.  She'd never leave the vehicle.  Always knowing I'd return for her.  When I finally did return, I'd sit down and say "are you still here".  She'd sarcastically moan and grown at me with her ears back and freakishly long furry tail swinging.  I always felt sorry for the person I parked next to knowing when they returned there was a good chance they would experience a little cardiac distress.  Many times they'd return to their car to be met by a low sometimes loud "WOLF".  Several times throughout the years I was close enough I had to apologize for my car's alarm system.  I'd explain it's occasionally very sensitive.

Not willing to give up her ball to eat, she figured a way.

I've literally always had a dog in my life.  Most have been smart but Izzy wasn't just smart, she was intelligent.  She could figure things out.  You could watch and see her thinking.  If she wanted something another dog had, for example our other dog Frosty would be on their bed or their favorite spot on a chair.  If Izzy wanted that spot, she'd go to their basket with their toys and bones.  Pick out something (usually a ball) drop it on the floor far enough away which to entice Frosty to jump up to get it.  Izzy would then casually walk over and lay on the bed or chair. Worked every time!

Izzy helped break the ice while getting to know my wife Liz.  I brought Izzy on our first "date".  We met at a diner for coffee.  I advised Liz inside the diner She had to meet Izzy who was waiting out in the truck.  Liz isn't the type to scare easily but I think she may have been taken back a little by being sized up from an 80 pound German Shepard. Izzy sniffed and carefully gave Liz the once over then promptly headed to the nearest tree, plucked a stick and brought it to Liz.  Well, Liz was Izzy approved!

I saw many instances of Izzy being able to help me through some rough times over the years.  Not sure how intentional it all was.  I just know looking back how helpful it was at the time.  She encouraged me through her gestures and vocalizations to get up and go out when I really didn't feel like doing anything.  But, once out and walking or playing fetch I'd instantly feel better.  There would be days when I'd look at her and tell her "I don't feel good today" and she'd pick a location in the room to lay down and just watch me.

Yesterday I lost a my Izzy Girl.  My companion for over 11 years.  She succumbed to cancer.  By time I noticed signs it was too late.  This dreaded disease had probably been festering within her for over a year.

Like a true great dog she never showed signs of slowing until the past few months and I didn't think much of it.  Kinda figured it was her old age catching up with her.  Heck, I could sympathize! Then finally her difficulty breathing brought us to the door of in my opinion a really good veterinarian.  He was very patient and compassionate.  Advising of the severity and spread of the cancer throughout Izzy's chest cavity along with prognosis and options.  Needless to say I was devastated.  I knew my life would be changing without this special dog in it.  I looked the Vet in the eye and asked what would you do?  He paused, it was obvious he was searching his feelings and thoughts for the right words.  He finally advised, knowing there is no cure only treatment to prolong her life up to maybe several months he would humanly euthanize her.  He continued that in no way did I need to but that's what he would do because he would not be able to handle the emotional roller coaster of knowing what the inevitable end would be and return for the procedure.

I was not prepared to return home without my Izzy.  So I decided to return home and watch her for at least another day.  The Vet assured me anytime I made the decision to come back.  No extra charges for visits would incur.  Just for the procedure.  Not that I was concerned about the money at this point, I think he was just trying to be sure I didn't do anything I wasn't ready for.

I kept her home three more days and finally made the heartbreaking decision.  At this point Izzy had not eaten in four days.  Having difficulty breathing she was obviously suffering.  I stayed up with her one night and could hear gurgling and wheezing from within her chest as she struggled to breath.  She could no longer physically follow me or exert the energy to reposition herself within the house to keep an eye on me, however whenever I was within eye sight she would lift her head, pant to breath, and just stare at me.  We spent hours of her last days gazing into each other's eyes as we both knew each others pains.

At least we understand and can comprehend what has happened.  Frosty and Izzy had become close over the years and company for each other.  I do believe Frosty looked up to Izzy to make the call on dog type decisions like when to go out, when to bark as well as things not to do.  She relied on Izzy to keep her warm as on most of their morning outings I'd find Frosty curled up almost on top of Izzy for warmth.  When we returned yesterday without Izzy we noticed Frosty sitting watching the front door.  Many times when Izzy and I returned Izzy would linger out on the front lawn for awhile before coming back in. So it wasn't unusual for me to enter without Izzy.  But eventually I'd be letting her back in, RIGHT?  Then later while on the front porch I saw Frosty gazing out through the porch railing as if she was looking for Izzy.  We all will miss her!

I don't care if anyone ever reads this.  It's been very therapeutic for me to remember just how great this friend of mine was.  I will never forget all she has done for me for as long as I live.  If there is another step to our existence, I'm hoping to see my Darling Isabella again someday on the other side.